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قديم 02-28-2020, 08:42 PM
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افتراضي Louis Wise on where Phillip Schofield goes from here




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where does Phillip Schofield go now?

I donâ??t mean career-wise, clearly: the gods of showbiz will see to that. I donâ??t mean spiritually, either, the TV presenterâ??s coming out being, of course, a sensitive and private matter, too. No, I mean where does Phillip literally go, aged 57, as a newly minted gay man? If fluidity is the thing these days, and stereotypes are stale, I can still humbly suggest a few London routes. Phil, â??welcome to our beautiful rainbow family!â??, to directly quote H from Steps.

1. Phil ramps up into a classic old-school TV gay. He invests in snazzy suits in assorted jewel colours plus funky ties. Thick-rimmed specs add heft as he negotiates a moving docuseries about how private shame has impacted his relationships, not least with Gordon the Gopher.

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2. Phil becomes a gym bunny, dotting between GymBox, SweatBox and Tesco Express, where he is forever buying cooked chicken breasts at 10pm. The abs are to die for, but this is above all a spiritual journey, chronicled by daily Instagram selfies complete with thesis-long posts. â??The Coronavirus has got me thinkinâ??â?? (sic), the post starts. â??I have been really focusing on my mental health, mostly by 3×15 sets of burpees and kettle-bell swingsâ?¦â?? The hashtags climax in the usual delirium of #instaboy #instagay #gaylove. Gok Wan loses his shit in the comments.






3. Phil gets into art, buying interesting sculptures, mid-century chairs and photographs which, weirdly enough, feature an awful lot of hot naked men. Itâ??s okay, though: the latter are by â??queer artistsâ?? who, whenever they take a picture spread-eagled, butt-naked on a carpet, are in fact â??interrogating performing the body via a post-gender lensâ??. Still, Phil gets a shock when he recognises an arse on one of the waiters at his favourite restaurant.





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4. Phil settles into something age-appropriate over in west London, with a new partner who, like him, has a royal name, as all gay couples there do (Charles-William, Harry-Edward et al). They set up a discreetly luxurious interior decor business, flogging wallpapers, antiques and ceramics â?? they truly are daft for Delft! The stock is topped up by regular expeditions to Brazil, which tend to bring back the odd â??lodgerâ??, too.

5. Finally, Phil starts a podcast. Over several long, blithely unedited hours, he tells all kinds of fabulous, colourful, diverse stories, which somehow all end up sounding like his own.



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