From emotional cheating to strip clubs, there's a lot of debate over what constitutes infidelity. When do we need to help our partners feel more secure, and at what point does requesting we refrain from certain behaviors border on possessiveness? One person struggling with this question is Redditor VillaVillaVillaGrape, who's about to head on a beach trip. She's gotten into great shape this year, which her boyfriend has **ticedâ??and apparently, he's concerned that other guys will **tice too. "He sees that I'm packing bikinis and says 'I need to talk to you' and tells me with tears in his eyes that he doesn't want me to wear bikinis or anything revealing on the trip this year," she wrote. "He said that because my body has improved so much that other guys will be all over me and also said what is, in my opinion, the corniest line in historyâ??'Baby, I trust you, it's all those guys I don't trust.'" Ugh, that line. But if it makes him feel better, should she just forgo the bikini? Here's what Reddit said: "Please do **t give in to this. Honestly, if I were you, I would be slightly offended on behalf of my past self. He's essentially saying you weren't hot e**ugh to draw attention from other men before, but **w that you are, he wants you to cover up and hide your body. It's absurd and gross. He's insecure; that's his problem. Reassure him you love him and wouldn't hurt him, and then wear your bikini and rock your new bod. You should be proud of yourself." â??minasituation "Wear the bikini. Your BF needs to understand that unwanted ***ual contact is **t about what you wear, it's about the perpetrator **t understanding consent. Plus, he totally dissed your pre-fitness body and implied that men didn't find you hot before. Rude." â??crayondove "You should talk to him. Make him understand that what he's requesting is controlling. I doubt your BF actually fears that you'll cheat on him or that guys will assault you. If he felt that you'll cheat, he wouldn't be with you for three years. It sounds more to me like he fears that with you having a more attractive body, it will probably attract guys ... attractive, fit, hot guys, who will try to flirt with you. He fears that with all the attention you'll be getting, you'll think you can do better than him and that you'll leave him behind. All completely irrational, of course. If that's the case, then you need to communicate that you'll stay committed to him." â??someswellguy "When someone says 'I trust you, I just don't trust them,' that is merely saying they don't actually trust you. Don't let the fact that he 'had tears in his eyes' cause you to overlook the fact that he ** longer seems to trust you. If he's honestly worried about you getting assaulted or something like that, **t wearing a bikini isn't going to stop someone who is determined to do that from doing it." â??punkpixz "Everyone is like 'Screw him, wear what you want!' But honestly if my S.O. was like 'screw you!' every time I was a little irrational or insecure, we wouldn't have a relationship. ... Reassure him that even though you have a hot new bod, attention from guys doesn't mean anythingâ??you still only have eyes for him. Make sure he feels safe and loved. Sure, it could be a controlling, manipulative thing that he is doing, but if it is out of character for him, it's probably just his insecurity bubbling to the surface. I wouldn't jump straight to ig**ring him completely." â??Cheesechickenplz What do you think her boyfriend's deal is? Should she be worried that he's trying to influence what she wears?
06-04-2017, 11:28 PM
"My boyfriend asked me **t to wear a bikini"
From emotional cheating to strip clubs, there's a lot of debate over what constitutes infidelity. When do we need to help our partners feel more secure, and at what point does requesting we refrain from certain behaviors border on possessiveness? One person struggling with this question is Redditor VillaVillaVillaGrape, who's about to head on a beach trip. She's gotten into great shape this year, which her boyfriend has **ticedâ??and apparently, he's concerned that other guys will **tice too. "He sees that I'm packing bikinis and says 'I need to talk to you' and tells me with tears in his eyes that he doesn't want me to wear bikinis or anything revealing on the trip this year," she wrote. "He said that because my body has improved so much that other guys will be all over me and also said what is, in my opinion, the corniest line in historyâ??'Baby, I trust you, it's all those guys I don't trust.'" Ugh, that line. But if it makes him feel better, should she just forgo the bikini? Here's what Reddit said: "Please do **t give in to this. Honestly, if I were you, I would be slightly offended on behalf of my past self. He's essentially saying you weren't hot e**ugh to draw attention from other men before, but **w that you are, he wants you to cover up and hide your body. It's absurd and gross. He's insecure; that's his problem. Reassure him you love him and wouldn't hurt him, and then wear your bikini and rock your new bod. You should be proud of yourself." â??minasituation "Wear the bikini. Your BF needs to understand that unwanted ***ual contact is **t about what you wear, it's about the perpetrator **t understanding consent. Plus, he totally dissed your pre-fitness body and implied that men didn't find you hot before. Rude." â??crayondove "You should talk to him. Make him understand that what he's requesting is controlling. I doubt your BF actually fears that you'll cheat on him or that guys will assault you. If he felt that you'll cheat, he wouldn't be with you for three years. It sounds more to me like he fears that with you having a more attractive body, it will probably attract guys ... attractive, fit, hot guys, who will try to flirt with you. He fears that with all the attention you'll be getting, you'll think you can do better than him and that you'll leave him behind. All completely irrational, of course. If that's the case, then you need to communicate that you'll stay committed to him." â??someswellguy "When someone says 'I trust you, I just don't trust them,' that is merely saying they don't actually trust you. Don't let the fact that he 'had tears in his eyes' cause you to overlook the fact that he ** longer seems to trust you. If he's honestly worried about you getting assaulted or something like that, **t wearing a bikini isn't going to stop someone who is determined to do that from doing it." â??punkpixz "Everyone is like 'Screw him, wear what you want!' But honestly if my S.O. was like 'screw you!' every time I was a little irrational or insecure, we wouldn't have a relationship. ... Reassure him that even though you have a hot new bod, attention from guys doesn't mean anythingâ??you still only have eyes for him. Make sure he feels safe and loved. Sure, it could be a controlling, manipulative thing that he is doing, but if it is out of character for him, it's probably just his insecurity bubbling to the surface. I wouldn't jump straight to ig**ring him completely." â??Cheesechickenplz What do you think her boyfriend's deal is? Should she be worried that he's trying to influence what she wears?
العرض الشجري