Pepsi, I wrote your next great commercial for you for free
We open on an oil rig in the Gulf of Mexico. A Lumineers song is playing, but it's just instrumental. Clapping. Acoustic guitar. This is a fun place to be, if your friends are there.
Enter HOT GUY, wearing denim jacket. HOT GUY wipes his brow and *****s a GENERIC BRAND COLA as he observes the drill. The GENERIC BRAND COLA looks disgusting, and HOT GUY reacts accordingly. Suddenly, a *****. The drill pipe bursts, and HOT GUY goes flying hundreds of feet into the hair. The GENERIC BRAND COLA flies out of his hand and he flashes a smile of relief as he lands safely in the water. It is hot when he lands in the water.* Read more...