Happy Valentine's Day.
 

Look at these pants, y'all. These are some good pants. These pink, heart-littered confections are the kind of pants you can only get away with if you are competing in a curling match at the Winter Olympics. Oh sure, when Olympic athletes wear these pants they're "trendsetting" and "champions" but when you wear them you're "tacky" and "not allowed outside the house looking like that."

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