How It Feels to Love A**ther Mother's Child
 

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The thing about being a nanny - or in any line of childcare - is that you get attached to a child that doesn't in any way belong to you. Twenty-four hours into my first day as a full-time nanny, I fell completely in love with a little boy that isn't mine to love. He has two amazing parents, a wonderful extended family, and **w, a baby sister who is going to unconditionally love and idolize him forever - but he also has me, and I love the kid to absolute pieces.

As a parent, I could imagine that it would feel weird - almost threatening - to have someone else say that they're in love with your child. When your kids are born, you love them ** matter what because they're yours, and that's just how it works. But it is still so possible to love a child who doesn't belong to you - especially because children love back so unconditionally in the first place. If you are a parent to a child and you allow someone else to play a large role in their life, having that person love them the way you do is, in my opinion, the best outcome for everyone.

Don't get me wrong - I k**w with 300-percent certainty that I would never in any way replace my employer as her son's mother, that's just **t possible, **r is it something I would ever want. But being a nanny is kind of weird, if I'm honest. You spend an entire day trying to keep someone else's kid happy, fed, and alive. It sort of feels like you're a single mom in half-day increments.* Because of that, you can't help but feel like this little kiddo is yours in a way - after all, they learn from you, they adopt little habits of yours, they pick up phrases that you use. They become a mix of their parents with a splash (or two) of you, because you are the three people that they spend the most time with. So when I say that I'm completely in love with a child that isn't mine, there are multiple reasons why I feel like I am validated.

• First and foremost, I won the nanny lottery and landed a job with the most amazing set of parents in the world. If they weren't only a few years older than me, I would ask them to adopt me. They took me in as a part of their family right away and let me love their son and have him in my life, and for that I will be forever grateful. (They also k**w basically all of my life secrets, so I have to keep them close.)
• There is ** such thing as "too much love." There are so many people in this world who could use a little bit more of the stuff, so I can't possibly imagine **t giving out all of the love I have to give, which, if you k**w me at all, is a lot.
• It is absolutely impossible **t to love a tiny human who fits into tiny clothes and has a tiny voice and eats with tiny cutlery.
• Like I mentioned above, he has a few splashes of me, parts of my personality that I really love about myself. Seeing him share some of my interests, say some of the funny things I say - even just laugh at my jokes because we totally get each other - is so amazing.
• He makes me feel more maternal than any childless 20-something could ever relate to.
• In the way that any parent feels proud of their child, he makes me proud every single day - big things, little things, all of the things. He's incredible, and he makes me happy to be such a big part of his life as he grows into a young boy.
• He is a very perceptive and affectionate little boy - he has seen me get emotional, even cry before, and like a mature adult, he completely and utterly consoled me.
• I would do literally anything for him - this includes a range of things, from getting up from a Rescue Bots Netflix binge to get him a snack to putting myself in harm's way to protect him.
• He **t only tells me he loves me, but that he loves me "way too much," which melts my damn heart every single time.

So yes, I am in love with a little boy that isn't mine - and to go a step further, the second his little sister was born, my heart burst even more, because with her it was love at first (iPhone photo) sight. It's a weird thing to talk about, but it's such a natural feeling. That little boy wasn't just my pint-size boss, he's an extraordinary child who has touched my life so irrevocably - he's my best friend, my "chicken nugget," my absolute favorite person in the whole world, and I love him to kingdom come.


*I am **t actually a single mom, so I can**t confirm or validate that feeling in the slightest; it's just speculation.



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