ahlam1399
01-02-2018, 07:51 PM
https://media1.popsugar-assets.com/files/thumbor/8BFf-b1t0CN6BH9LcNkx3RLRcUY/fit-in/160x160/filters:format_auto-!!-:strip_icc-!!-/2017/12/27/765/n/3019466/72da00125a43d6ee67b437.64602037_edit_img_image_444 56695_1514324918.jpg (https://www.popsugar.com/moms/How-Improve-Your-Relationship-44456695)
There's nothing like the feeling of falling in love (https://www.popsugar.com/love/Signs-Youre-Falling-Love-43593209). When you meet that person that makes you feel like you're constantly buzzing, it's like you become completely addicted. You can't stop thinking about them, your heart pounds out of your chest whenever they are around, and when you do have them around, it's hard to keep your hands off of them. The mix of apprehension and excitement can be intoxicating. It can also be terrifying. When love is still fresh and new, it takes time to get comfortable with one another. You may hold back from revealing yourself entirely because you don't want to risk jeopardizing what's beginning to blossom. There's a lot of pressure.
Related
24 Signs You've Found Your Soul Mate (https://www.popsugar.com/love/Signs-Youve-Found-Your-Soul-Mate-35421825)
While I may feel a bit of longing when I think back to the starry-eyed lovers my wife and I were when we first started dating, I prefer much prefer the ease and security that comes with a long-term relationship. We've gone through so much in the eight years we've been together. It certainly hasn't always been easy, but sharing my life with someone who has seen me at my worst and still loves me unconditionally is pretty freaking awesome.
But being in a long-term relationship poses its own set of challenges. For us, and probably for many other committed couples, the chaos of daily life can sometimes overshadow the priorities you had once set for your relationship. Over the past year and a half, our marriage was tested with one obstacle after another. We both started new demanding jobs, dealt with issues in our families, and dealt with my severe depression (https://www.popsugar.com/love/Things-Know-About-Loving-Someone-Depression-43804622). All of these stressors created this disconnect we didn't even realize was happening. Things weren't tumultuous and we weren't miserable, but instead we were apathetic. We weren't putting any effort in, and let's face it: even the greatest relationships require some work. We weren't putting our marriage, and more importantly, our friendship, first. So, we decided it was time to make some changes. Because we've never been a couple that likes to play by the rule book, we came up with our own unconventional ways to strengthen our relationship (https://www.popsugar.com/love/30-Day-Relationship-Challenge-35253795).
1. Reconnecting Through Ritual: I've found that if my wife and I aren't deliberate in our efforts to schedule time with one another, chances are it's not going to happen. Of course we live together and we see each other every day, but that doesn't necessarily mean we are fully present. We decided we needed to make quality time a habit, but we also wanted to be realistic. While weekly date nights sounded good in theory, it's not always feasible. So, we settled on a Saturday morning coffee run. Every Saturday, rain or shine, we pile in the car with our dog and take this gorgeous scenic route to our favorite coffee place. It may not sound like a big deal, but it's something we look forward to. Spending that time together in the car driving around, talking, holding hands, and belting out songs on the radio makes it the best part of my week.
2. Solace in a Sleeping Bag: There is something incredibly romantic about being on vacation. Maybe it's the change of scenery or just reconnecting with your partner in a different environment. My wife and I intended to do some traveling this past year, but we had to put the plans on the back burner due to some of the things we were dealing with. Instead, I decided to bring the vacation to us. I ordered a $50 pop-up tent from Amazon and set it up in our basement. I'm not going to lie - when my wife came home and saw this thing in the middle of the room, she thought I was out of my mind. But once I convinced her to climb in, it was honestly magical. Despite not actually leaving our house, the whimsy of the tent decorated with white lights and the closeness (both literally and figuratively) as we snuggled in our sleeping bag made us feel like we were somewhere far away from the rest of the word. And guess what? We kept that baby up for months!
3. Mailbox Surprise: I'm a bit of a bookworm and a self-proclaimed nerd, but luckily that's one of my quirks my wife fell in love with (or at least that's what she tells me, anyway). When we were brainstorming ideas for how to reconnect, I thought of my favorite classic, Little Women. If you've never read it (you're totally missing out if you haven't by the way), a boy who is a neighbor of the sisters gifts them with a little mailbox as a means of communication. I thought this could be a sweet albeit a little cheesy way for us to surprise each other every day. I bought this cheap little wooden mailbox, decorated it, and put it our front porch. Every day, depending on which one of us gets home first, we leave something in the mailbox. Sometimes it's something incredibly thoughtful like a love note or a little gift. Sometimes it's something absurd like a banana with a mustache drawn in black marker. But no matter what it is, opening that mailbox up makes me smile and makes me remember how lucky I am to have someone who is willing to embrace my weirdness and go along for the ride.
4. Play More, Adult Less: One of the big red flags (https://www.popsugar.com/love/Relationship-Red-Flags-44313832) that told us we needed to do something to strengthen our marriage was when we both felt we stopped having fun with one another. Life can get pretty serious. If you let all of the pressure that is boiling spill over into your relationship, it can wreak havoc. Our home, which was typically a place where we both found respite from external stressors, suddenly also felt tense. We'd come home, eat dinner, clean up, spend time on our phones in front of the TV, and go to bed. We spent a lot of time talking about how hectic work was, going over what was on our to-do list for the week, or nagging at the other for what household chores didn't get done. While we both understood that this is just part of the reality of being adults, we also knew it didn't have to be about responsibilities all the time. We started to incorporate "play time" during the week. At least three nights during the work week (and on weekends, of course), we put down our phones and laptops and we just have fun. We play board games or video games, run around with our dog in the backyard, watch silly nostalgic movies, or create something. We take a break from being adults and genuinely enjoy being a little childish. According to experts, regular play (http://www.helpguide.org/articles/mental-health/benefits-of-play-for-adults.htm) can not only bring joy and vitality to a relationship, but can also help heal resentments, open ourselves to intimacy, and foster trust.
5. Nighttime Gratitude: The most important strategy we implemented in our relationship was sharing our "nighttime gratitude" with one another. Before we go to sleep, my wife and I each take turns saying what we are grateful for (https://www.popsugar.com/smart-living/How-Practicing-Gratitude-Can-Help-You-Happy-44009181). When we started this, we made sure that we would go into it openly and honestly and without judgment. The last thing we wanted was for the other to get resentful or angry if the gratitude wasn't always about the other person. We didn't want to limit ourselves by expressing appreciation solely about our relationship, but instead a reflection of what fills our hearts with gratitude every day. Taking the time at night to individually reflect on what we are grateful for and then sharing with one another is surprisingly intimate. Sometimes during this exercises, our responses spark deep conversations that we may not have ordinarily had. It has not only brought us closer in our relationship, but has also allowed us to appreciate all of the other blessings in our lives we sometimes overlook.
My relationship rituals may seem peculiar or maybe even completely bogus to some people, but I'm totally OK with that. What worked for my wife and I as a couple may not work for other couples. We put aside our egos, our obstinacy, and our trepidation and decided to take a gamble instead - not because we felt our relationship was doomed, but because we knew in our hearts we deserved better as a couple. Just because two people love one another doesn't mean it's all sunshine and rainbows all the time. The fact of the matter is, if you want to achieve intimacy, mutual respect, romance, trust, friendship - all of the remarkable gifts you get out of a relationship - you have to make a conscious choice to wake up every day and figure out how you're going to do that. And if you want it badly enough, if you're willing to be a fool with the person you love like I am, then I guarantee you'll be able to have the relationship you want and deserve.
أكثر... (https://www.popsugar.com/moms/How-Improve-Your-Relationship-44456695)
There's nothing like the feeling of falling in love (https://www.popsugar.com/love/Signs-Youre-Falling-Love-43593209). When you meet that person that makes you feel like you're constantly buzzing, it's like you become completely addicted. You can't stop thinking about them, your heart pounds out of your chest whenever they are around, and when you do have them around, it's hard to keep your hands off of them. The mix of apprehension and excitement can be intoxicating. It can also be terrifying. When love is still fresh and new, it takes time to get comfortable with one another. You may hold back from revealing yourself entirely because you don't want to risk jeopardizing what's beginning to blossom. There's a lot of pressure.
Related
24 Signs You've Found Your Soul Mate (https://www.popsugar.com/love/Signs-Youve-Found-Your-Soul-Mate-35421825)
While I may feel a bit of longing when I think back to the starry-eyed lovers my wife and I were when we first started dating, I prefer much prefer the ease and security that comes with a long-term relationship. We've gone through so much in the eight years we've been together. It certainly hasn't always been easy, but sharing my life with someone who has seen me at my worst and still loves me unconditionally is pretty freaking awesome.
But being in a long-term relationship poses its own set of challenges. For us, and probably for many other committed couples, the chaos of daily life can sometimes overshadow the priorities you had once set for your relationship. Over the past year and a half, our marriage was tested with one obstacle after another. We both started new demanding jobs, dealt with issues in our families, and dealt with my severe depression (https://www.popsugar.com/love/Things-Know-About-Loving-Someone-Depression-43804622). All of these stressors created this disconnect we didn't even realize was happening. Things weren't tumultuous and we weren't miserable, but instead we were apathetic. We weren't putting any effort in, and let's face it: even the greatest relationships require some work. We weren't putting our marriage, and more importantly, our friendship, first. So, we decided it was time to make some changes. Because we've never been a couple that likes to play by the rule book, we came up with our own unconventional ways to strengthen our relationship (https://www.popsugar.com/love/30-Day-Relationship-Challenge-35253795).
1. Reconnecting Through Ritual: I've found that if my wife and I aren't deliberate in our efforts to schedule time with one another, chances are it's not going to happen. Of course we live together and we see each other every day, but that doesn't necessarily mean we are fully present. We decided we needed to make quality time a habit, but we also wanted to be realistic. While weekly date nights sounded good in theory, it's not always feasible. So, we settled on a Saturday morning coffee run. Every Saturday, rain or shine, we pile in the car with our dog and take this gorgeous scenic route to our favorite coffee place. It may not sound like a big deal, but it's something we look forward to. Spending that time together in the car driving around, talking, holding hands, and belting out songs on the radio makes it the best part of my week.
2. Solace in a Sleeping Bag: There is something incredibly romantic about being on vacation. Maybe it's the change of scenery or just reconnecting with your partner in a different environment. My wife and I intended to do some traveling this past year, but we had to put the plans on the back burner due to some of the things we were dealing with. Instead, I decided to bring the vacation to us. I ordered a $50 pop-up tent from Amazon and set it up in our basement. I'm not going to lie - when my wife came home and saw this thing in the middle of the room, she thought I was out of my mind. But once I convinced her to climb in, it was honestly magical. Despite not actually leaving our house, the whimsy of the tent decorated with white lights and the closeness (both literally and figuratively) as we snuggled in our sleeping bag made us feel like we were somewhere far away from the rest of the word. And guess what? We kept that baby up for months!
3. Mailbox Surprise: I'm a bit of a bookworm and a self-proclaimed nerd, but luckily that's one of my quirks my wife fell in love with (or at least that's what she tells me, anyway). When we were brainstorming ideas for how to reconnect, I thought of my favorite classic, Little Women. If you've never read it (you're totally missing out if you haven't by the way), a boy who is a neighbor of the sisters gifts them with a little mailbox as a means of communication. I thought this could be a sweet albeit a little cheesy way for us to surprise each other every day. I bought this cheap little wooden mailbox, decorated it, and put it our front porch. Every day, depending on which one of us gets home first, we leave something in the mailbox. Sometimes it's something incredibly thoughtful like a love note or a little gift. Sometimes it's something absurd like a banana with a mustache drawn in black marker. But no matter what it is, opening that mailbox up makes me smile and makes me remember how lucky I am to have someone who is willing to embrace my weirdness and go along for the ride.
4. Play More, Adult Less: One of the big red flags (https://www.popsugar.com/love/Relationship-Red-Flags-44313832) that told us we needed to do something to strengthen our marriage was when we both felt we stopped having fun with one another. Life can get pretty serious. If you let all of the pressure that is boiling spill over into your relationship, it can wreak havoc. Our home, which was typically a place where we both found respite from external stressors, suddenly also felt tense. We'd come home, eat dinner, clean up, spend time on our phones in front of the TV, and go to bed. We spent a lot of time talking about how hectic work was, going over what was on our to-do list for the week, or nagging at the other for what household chores didn't get done. While we both understood that this is just part of the reality of being adults, we also knew it didn't have to be about responsibilities all the time. We started to incorporate "play time" during the week. At least three nights during the work week (and on weekends, of course), we put down our phones and laptops and we just have fun. We play board games or video games, run around with our dog in the backyard, watch silly nostalgic movies, or create something. We take a break from being adults and genuinely enjoy being a little childish. According to experts, regular play (http://www.helpguide.org/articles/mental-health/benefits-of-play-for-adults.htm) can not only bring joy and vitality to a relationship, but can also help heal resentments, open ourselves to intimacy, and foster trust.
5. Nighttime Gratitude: The most important strategy we implemented in our relationship was sharing our "nighttime gratitude" with one another. Before we go to sleep, my wife and I each take turns saying what we are grateful for (https://www.popsugar.com/smart-living/How-Practicing-Gratitude-Can-Help-You-Happy-44009181). When we started this, we made sure that we would go into it openly and honestly and without judgment. The last thing we wanted was for the other to get resentful or angry if the gratitude wasn't always about the other person. We didn't want to limit ourselves by expressing appreciation solely about our relationship, but instead a reflection of what fills our hearts with gratitude every day. Taking the time at night to individually reflect on what we are grateful for and then sharing with one another is surprisingly intimate. Sometimes during this exercises, our responses spark deep conversations that we may not have ordinarily had. It has not only brought us closer in our relationship, but has also allowed us to appreciate all of the other blessings in our lives we sometimes overlook.
My relationship rituals may seem peculiar or maybe even completely bogus to some people, but I'm totally OK with that. What worked for my wife and I as a couple may not work for other couples. We put aside our egos, our obstinacy, and our trepidation and decided to take a gamble instead - not because we felt our relationship was doomed, but because we knew in our hearts we deserved better as a couple. Just because two people love one another doesn't mean it's all sunshine and rainbows all the time. The fact of the matter is, if you want to achieve intimacy, mutual respect, romance, trust, friendship - all of the remarkable gifts you get out of a relationship - you have to make a conscious choice to wake up every day and figure out how you're going to do that. And if you want it badly enough, if you're willing to be a fool with the person you love like I am, then I guarantee you'll be able to have the relationship you want and deserve.
أكثر... (https://www.popsugar.com/moms/How-Improve-Your-Relationship-44456695)